In 2012, I revolutionized the practice of making New Year’s Resolutions. Instead of lying through my teeth about diets, exercise and tiresome niceness, I included only promises I could keep.
Still, I didn’t accomplish all my goals. I kept a pair of gloves intact, forgetting to lose one of every pair. I remembered to charge my phone before it quit four times that year. Despite my efforts to destroy the previous Christmas’s poinsettias, one still lives. I didn’t kill it completely, though judging from its appearance, it probably wishes I had.
Given these failures, an attack of perfectionism prevented me from attempting resolutions again.
But I’ve recovered. Noble aspirations for 2024 are listed below:
I promise to harmonize with background music in stores. Singing is gluten-free, contains zero calories and harbors no toxic substances (if on key).
Shoveling snow, I’ll throw half our driveway’s gravel into the yard. Come spring, I’ll pick up 15 percent and let Hubby’s lawnmower retrieve the rest.
I’ll wear only mom jeans, sparing myself and the rest of the world any attempts at wearing skinnies. Instead, I’ll move up a pants size. Moving up is a promotion, right?
I will not label freezer items. Plus, if I’m careful to maintain its chaos, a ten-pound unknown will tumble out every time I open it.
I’ll continue to laugh too loud at our pastor’s jokes on Sunday morning. Sorry, fellow church members, but my laughter comes in one-size-fits-all.
I will growl at the gas gods, whether they zap my pocketbook or lower prices and mess with the world economy.
I’ll never open the front window at drive-throughs without opening a back one first.
I will introduce my grandchildren to a new form of sugar their folks have banned.
I’ll bore my grandkids with “when I was a girl” stories. (The last time I did this, one grandson asked if I knew Betsy Ross.)
I will hand out free smiles, no limits, and no coupon needed.
I won’t change a single light bulb, even if we’re cast into outer darkness. Hubby needs to feel needed.
Finally, I will leave at least one cell phone unmuted, one car horn braying for no reason, and one zipper unzipped at the worst possible moments of 2024.
Too lofty a list?
Sigh. Perfectionism strikes again. …
Your Extraordinary Ordinary: What doable resolutions will you make for 2024?