The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “trend” as “a general movement” or “a current style or preference.”

Sounds simple. Yet, anyone who’s studied human behavior for five minutes knows better.

Take, for example, the current fad of torn jeans, some composed of more air than cloth. Designer rip-offs boast price tags approaching a thousand dollars.

Others on my what-are-we-thinking list:

• Bacon ice cream. Like pleasant people from different planets who should never marry, these two yummy foods should never share a carton.

• Cyclists wearing earbuds. Don’t these people want to live long enough to know how the song ends?

• Man buns. Somebody, hide the bobby pins and hairspray. Please.

• Sleep trackers. Rumpelstiltskin never wore a Fitbit, and he slept so well nobody could wake him for 20 years.

• Shoes minus socks. During a Midwest winter? Though we could start a new, exciting trend of blue feet as chic accessories. …

• Gambling TV ads. At least, the IRS is forthright about taking our money.

• Finally, antler chandeliers. Neither Bambi nor I like this trend. Especially when they cost up to $3,000.

By now, you assume this GOL (Grumpy Old Lady) disses current culture as a favorite hobby.

It’s fun. Below, however, I do list trends that hopefully will endure:

• Mom jeans haven’t yet topped the torn-jeans fad. Still, I’ve informed my daughters their mother is a fashionista.

• Excellence in women’s sports. No girls’ team was formed at my huge high school until I was a senior. Now, I watch young women compete with joy (and secret gladness I never worked that hard).

• The coffee craze. May Mr. Coffee, Mr. Keurig and Mr. Starbucks continue forever.

• Plentiful public restrooms. During shopping trips when my children were small, we raced madly to the library restroom, our only refuge. Thank God, some businesses got wise. Decades later, my races have resumed, and I can’t always make it to the library.

• A “my pleasure” response to a customer’s thank-you instead of “no problem.”

• Delivery service and free shipping.

• Church services streamed for those who can’t attend.

• Tunic tops and ponchos. They cover a multitude of sins.

• Excellent male fashion insight. Most men reject rompers as possible summer wear. Thanks, guys!

Now, don’t you feel better already?

Your Extraordinary Ordinary: What trends should go away? Which should stay?