For years I celebrated holidays by directing church musicals. One fateful Easter I chose Watch the Lamb, which focused on Jesus as the Lamb of God. A live lamb would make the ancient story come alive.
During rehearsals, the cast greeted our lamb with enthusiasm.
Church janitors did not. “Do something before that animal pees all over — or worse.”
Why hadn’t I considered this minor complication? Especially as the lamb made entrances down different aisles. Most Passover lambs in 30 A.D. did not wear Pampers®.
What other option existed?
God provided the perfect solution: we would cover the stage and church aisles with the burlap-like backside of my recently discarded carpet.
However, God didn’t send angels to cut, arrange and duct tape the carpet throughout the sanctuary. After two unspiritual, aching-knee days, all my bases were covered. No worries now, right?
Wrong.
Loony the Lamb had his own ideas about entrances and exits. A hay bale helped keep him quiet, but for obvious reasons, we avoided feeding him too much.
The 60-member cast’s noise made Loony more nervous than your Aunt Nellie. Kids petted him without mercy. Bright lights and heat caused him to hyperventilate. During dress rehearsal, Loony the Lamb collapsed onstage in a wooly, quivering heap.
Watch the Lamb? No audience would want to watch this.
Two animal lovers carried the prostrate lamb outside while we prayed — and Loony recovered. One guy built a pen outside the stage door where our prima donna cropped grass between scenes. Visiting hours were restricted, with no autographs. We did everything but paint a star on Loony’s gate.
Thankfully, he showed no new signs of cardiac arrest. His brassy baaaaa erupted only once during performances — during solemn prayer after the crucifixion.
Our ingenious actors shifted and blocked escape routes, all the while looking very holy.
One child earned my special appreciation: “Loony was peein’ on my foot the whole time Jesus was on the cross, but I didn’t say nothin’.”
Even after Loony returned home, I couldn’t shake off sheep. Scriptures about lambs leaped from the Bible’s pages. Jesus frequently called his followers His sheep. After Watch the Lamb, I figured He didn’t mean it as a compliment.
Nevertheless, the King of Heaven volunteered to take on the title “Lamb of God” — what God in His right mind would do that?
Only a King who loves confused, clueless sheep more than His own life.
Even one dithery pageant director named Rachael — which means “lamb.”
Have you participated in a pageant/play that taught you more than you expected?
Yep. One great day I volunteered to write and direct a children’s play. It was about stars. We had much ado about them. Thankfully it was 47 years ago so I don’t remember much except when one star fell off the wall, slid between my glasses and face and hit my eye. I literally saw stars for a moment. Enough stars already!
Hahaha, I never thought of stage stars as being a threat! Thanks for telling me about this, Dori. Now, if somebody tries to rope me into directing a play about them, I’ll run screaming to another galaxy! (I hope by now your eye is better.)
Thanks for your comment, and I hope spring is quickly making its way up north. Hugs.
I was howling with laughter! This is hilarious!
Latayne, So glad I gave you a few laughs. As you might have guessed, I never used live animals in a production again!
Thanks for your kind comment, and I hope you and Dan are doing well. Hugs.
Yep. I have a lamb story and donkey story. Lamb story: I was the soloist for a Christmas program singing O Holy Night. Guess who didn’t appreciate my high notes and sang with me? People were rolling in the aisles with laughter and the pianist could hardly play she was laughing so hard.
Then, one year, I had the bright idea of having Jesus ride a donkey into the sanctuary. But the donkey wanted nothing of going up the hill from my front yard to the church. We had to push him with the bumper of the car. I kid you not. He barely made his entrance!
And to make matters even more interesting, the donkey, who was camped out in a huge horse trailer at my house in the front yard, kept escaping. Ran downtown (one stop light, town of 600) during a school day with my homeschooled kids chasing after it. Ended up in the school parking lot. Didn’t look real good to the Principial…
I have more stories like this. Rachael, we are kindred spirits.
Hahahahahaha! Karla, I think you should switch from donkeys to lambs! You mean that after that awful Christmas duet, you used a donkey in another production? You brave, crazy lady! What a cool story of the donkey’s great escape. You’re going to include that in a novel, aren’t you?
Yes, we are kindred spirits. But you may be even more dangerous than I am 🙂
Thanks for your fun stories (you’ll have to tell me more). Blessings on your day, and stay safe.