O my God, thank You for an amazing weekend — teaching eager students at the Taylor Professional Writing Conference, celebrating with writing buds, fueling our inspiration with Mexican food and sundaes!
But now, Lord, it’s Monday morning. OMG, maybe I should … write?
I have discovered that God designs writers with His usual love for diversity. However, when it comes to the organizational aspects of our profession, we fall into two basic groups. With a scratch-my-head bow to our Father (I never will understand why He created people the way He did), and an apology to Jeff Foxworthy, I suggest the following:
You might be a piler if:
- You have an office at home but never work there because you can’t find your computer.
- You haven’t seen your office carpet since the Bush administration. Is the color still neon mauve?
- You can’t recall whether you have a window, either.
- You just moved into the house next door because your to-be-read stack of books has taken over your first home.
- You still haven’t unpacked from the 2006 American Christian Fiction Writers conference … or 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010. … (Not admitting anything, here.)
- The number of your undeleted e-mail messages exceeds that of the national debt.
- You still have every story you’ve written since kindergarten. And every story your children have written. And every story your grandchildren have written. Plus all the rough drafts.
- Your smartphone, having given up on organizing you, has run away from home.
Yes, you are a piler.
On the other hand, you might be a filer if:
- You can see the top of your desk. No respectable piler would permit such a thing.
- You have scheduled morning, noon and night tweets and Facebook posts through the year 2021.
- You can eat on your kitchen table. If your family can, too, give yourself bonus filer points.
- You actually know where your goal list is.
- Every Facebook friend of yours has been categorized according to relationship, location, hairdo, and Popsicle flavor preference.
- Your idea of a good time is to alphabetize your recycling.
- Your latest mystery’s murderer is the only character in your novel who hates to file.
- Your smartphone and you go to Starbucks for regular coffee dates. It buys.
Yes, God knows where your membership belongs. And mine. So do our spouses or significant others. And our friends.
Your turn. Fill in the blank: you might be a filer/piler if .