My name is Rachael, and I’m a ballgame-aholic. Sports rivet me to the small screen.
Although I was raised with the Midwestern work ethic. My mother scoffed at grown men who wasted time playing games with balls and sticks. When she not only hid the “TV Guide” and sport sections, but dispatched Dad’s recliner to the roof, our family got the message.
My husband’s family, though equally industrious, considered watching ballgames valid and Indiana University basketball sacred.
Consequently, Hubby doesn’t require many ballgame rationalizations, though he sometimes borrows from my vast collection. One favorite: we accuse each other of working too hard, then prescribe couch-potato bliss “to keep our blood pressures down.”
If this fails, we add respectability with semi-productive activities that don’t detract from the loafing essential to sports viewing.
First, we count the money in our wallets.
Okay, that took four seconds. What next?
We fold Hubby’s brown and black socks. He does this on autopilot, and I rarely bother to separate the two, so we can focus on the game.
Hubby polishes shoes. If the score’s tied in the final minutes, the difference between black and brown also escapes him. But my flip-flops look really shiny.
I consider cleaning my handbag. But what will emerge from its mysterious depths? A penny with two Lincolns might make us rich. However, a 50-year-old photo of an old boyfriend might distract us from the important business at hand.
Picking dead leaves off plants qualifies as a ballgame pastime, unless teams play overtimes. I enjoy the excitement, but bald plants do not.
Manicures, pedicures and ear-hair-trimming sessions also work, though they necessitate similar caution.
Hubby and I sort through cassette tapes and vinyl albums. We cannot bear to part with any of them, so such endeavors provide pleasant diligence without accomplishing anything.
Some couples file tax receipts, answer emails, or alphabetize canned goods while viewing a ballgame. Some have the effrontery to exercise. They even claim this is quality couple time.
Quality time? My husband and I snuggle, cheering our teams, snarling at referees, consoling and/or celebrating with hugs, smooches and buttery popcorn.
After 48-plus years of watching ballgames together, we know how to do quality time.
It’s the best ballgame rationalization ever.
Your Extraordinary Ordinary: How do you rationalize watching ballgames?