On sultry summer days, do you sit on the porch — more likely, bask in air-conditioning — and ponder profound issues?
Skeptics might claim we’re procrastinating. We don’t want to mow or weed the garden for the 500th time. Or battle Japanese beetles that may as well own deeds to our rose beds.
No, I truly look for answers to my questions, including:
- Unlike highway medians, why can’t our yards and gardens be declared prairie preservation areas?
- Why would anyone invent platform flip-flops? A friend asks this question daily, as falling off her fashionable footwear put her in a walking boot.
- My question: why would anyone buy them?
- When temperatures sizzle, are you tempted to splat and zoom on a Slip ’N Slide®? (Me, neither.)
- Do others feel embarrassed — and relieved — that their campers include air conditioners?
- Why do summer mornings smell better every year?
- Why do beach lovers strip down to strings — some wore pandemic masks bigger than their bathing suits — yet other bathers don more clothing than in January?
- Why would anybody believe romaine should be grilled?
- What summer food sometimes outranks (gasp!) ice cream? Though a lifetime addict, I believe on the hottest days, a chilled watermelon slice tastes even better. Besides, I can spit seeds at my spouse.
- Why does my three-year-old grandson’s face, smeared with blueberries, appear adorable when my own toddlers’ gooey, blue kisses sent me running for my life — and a washcloth?
- Tarry blacktop conjures teeth-gritting images of road construction. Endless balky traffic. Detours to Timbuktu. But does its fragrance generate positive memories for anyone else? Sweaty bike rides on country roads to a mom-and-pop store to buy icy, 10-cent bottles of cream soda? Or yakety cycling with teen friends to a bookmobile?
- People are named June and August, but who’s named July?
- Why do some summer outdoor wedding guests look ready for a Hollywood photo shoot, whereas other perspiring attendees — not me, you understand — look like they spent the afternoon in a dunk tank?
- Which is best: lightning bugs, glowworms, or fireflies?
- Why does the ice maker malfunction only when temperatures rise above 90?
- Ditto for air conditioners. And freezers.
- Which songs are hummed most during summer: Beach Boys’ hits? The ’50s classic, “A Summer Place”? Or “Summer Nights” from the musical, Grease?
- While riding in the back of a pickup at 65 mph doesn’t carry its former appeal, do we children of yesteryear miss those wild, warm, nighttime breezes, the lavish, starry show above?
- Thankfully, we don’t miss out on summer evening scents. Don’t they smell better every year?
Especially when neighbors mow grass. And nurture beautiful flowers.
All while I ponder these profound questions of summer.
Your Extraordinary Ordinary: What weighty quandaries fill your mind during summer?