Most people stay far too busy during spring to pause and practice their God-given powers of observation. Although I, too, keep an encyclopedia-sized to-do list, I decided to sacrifice the time, pour myself a cup of coffee and ponder spring stuff:
- Spring is when we rid our yards of pretty dandelions and violets and instead, try to grow plants whose native habitat is the Amazon River Basin.
- Some high-fashion people wear flip-flops when it’s sleeting. Other divas wear boots during heat waves. Moral of the story: Spring footwear has nothing to do with feet. Though I feel the mad urge to wear white shoes.
- Storing one’s winter woolies at the spring equinox can prove almost as dangerous as selling a crib at a spring garage sale. (Blizzard or baby, you pick.)
- A sadistic burglar obviously replaced my spring clothes with an identical wardrobe two sizes too small.
- Prom dresses currently bloom throughout area stores. Either that, or lots of people are going to Vegas.
- I may never have looked like Debbie Reynolds, but I’m a Singin’-in-the-Rain kind of girl. You?
- During early spring, strawberries taste more like medicine than a fruit. Still, I buy them.
- Doesn’t it seem sacrilegious to celebrate the Resurrection at the same time we will have to pay the IRS?
- After spring break, an epidemic sweeps our nation’s campuses, victimizing students, professors and administration alike. The name of this menace? The College Crankies. A large migration of university spouses has been noted to take place at this time.
- Have you ever noticed that spring soccer fields smell like wild onions?
- My scudsy, corroded car, whose unfortunate state hasn’t bothered me all winter, now bothers me.
- Ditto for my house’s dirty windows. And my dirty carpets. And my furniture. And. …
- Gangway! The golfers are loose!
- Now that spring has arrived, my husband no longer gripes about my sleeping with the window open. An added bonus: a nearby frog choir provides a nightly lullaby to ease us into Dreamland.
- No five-star restaurant’s swanky French dessert menu could hope to rival the first luscious, drippy ice cream cone of spring.
Perhaps it’s time to rouse myself from my profound cogitations and determine if this year’s cone will uphold the standard.
No weightier spring pursuit than that.
What’s your favorite spring stuff?