This post first appeared on February 7, 2018.
They soften woes, absorb frustrations without complaint and support us.
No, our pillows.
I’d sleep with a dozen, but my spouse considers extras speed bumps in the night. So, I heap dozens of decorative pillows on our bed. When Hubby makes it, he sometimes forgets the universe will implode if the green pillow’s placed in the middle rather than the white.
Fear not. I continue to rescue the cosmos.
I also help him regarding sofa cushions. Our geometric pillow must always be matched with the sage green cushion. Never the red.
No one should desecrate them with actual use. Both Hubby and grand-dog must understand that only the aged, ameba-shaped cushion, stashed under a throw, is reserved for naps.
“OC, aren’t you?” chorus a hundred voices.
Sure, I hear voices. That doesn’t negate my point, which is: pillow power.
We must respect a product that upsets an entire continent. Australian health alerts demand pillows be replaced every two years or frozen to kill dust mites. One manufacturer even conducted a free pillow exchange.
Pillows can exert power in positive ways, e.g., the OSTRICHPILLOW®. The owner inserts his head into a soft, closed tube on his desk. Supposedly, a 20-minute nap using the OSTRICHPILLOW® increases work productivity 37 percent.
Any nap might accomplish this. Still, who am I to deny the combined force of capitalism and catnap?
However, pillows cause complications. Sleepers lose hours of rest, constantly awakening to refresh their pillows. For only $100, a sufferer can buy one filled with cool gel that reshapes itself. He should, however, take care not to drop it on his toe. It weighs 14 pounds.
Or, for only $400, one can purchase an intelliPillow. Why so expensive? Because its name starts with a lowercase letter, with a capital in the middle. It also uses an air compressor for automatic adjustment.
Ultimate power, however, is evidenced in the classic pillow fight. Taking this ancient concept to a higher level, devotees use pillows shaped like scimitars, battle axes and hand grenades.
Airline cushions sufficed, however, for passengers on one economy flight who took out lack-of-leg-room frustrations in a mass pillow fight.
Perhaps if world leaders engaged in a day-long pillow fight, we all might sleep better at night.
A powerful idea.
As long as they don’t use my sofa cushions.
Your Extraordinary Ordinary: Are you picky about your pillows?