Category Archives: OMG Prayers

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: Father, Are You Crazy?!

O Lord, You know I fed, watered, and pampered these plants. I talked to them, even read my books to them, yet the ingrates refused to thrive. So, I dumped these rejects where no one can see. I hope the frost gets them first!

What’s that, Lord? OMG, you love rejects? And You can recreate them … like this?

     

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: Even Principals Can Change

O Lord, You know that when we were in high school, our principal might not have approved of this cuddly pose. But OMG, thank You that after 50 years, he seems to have mellowed.  

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: Laboring to Avoid Garage Sales

O Lord, You know our annual all-town garage sale is on. You also know our house is already stuffed to the rafters with too much stuff. OMG, please help me stay away from those sales! If I bring home new finds, I may find myself in the driveway with a “Free!” sign around my neck.

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: I Take a Number at the BMV. Therefore, I Am

O Lord, You know I’m gathering evidence that I exist. The federal government has declared that unless I produce it, I won’t have a real ID. OMG, does that mean my current driver’s license is imaginary? If so, that cloud has a silver lining. The scary-looking woman on it isn’t real.

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: Please Nix the Gnats!

O Lord, You know we love camping in Your wild, beautiful world. But this year, a gnat plague of biblical (Exodus 8:16-19) proportions swarmed us the entire trip. After we returned home, Hubby even sorted piles of dirty laundry in his truck’s bed, rather than let the pests infest our house. OMG, Pharaoh wouldn’t listen to You, but we want to know: was it something we said?

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: Do I Want August to Go Away?

O Lord, part of me longs for the return of autumn’s regular schedules and button-down “Let’s do this!” Not to mention, pumpkin pie and hot cider.

But OMG, when crazy August’s heat wears on me, please remind me that ice cream and other summer delights don’t.    

  

Me on the trail in Anthony Lakes, Oregon

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: True Flower Power

O Lord, nothing looked deader than the brown, shriveled seeds I planted last spring. But You breathed Your life into them, and now, a hundred colorful reminders of Your Resurrection dance for joy in the west wind. OMG, to think that You can do the same for us, if we let You. Alleluia!

Classic OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer. O my God, Thank You for blessing our garden with squash. We have eaten sautéed squash, squash salad, squash fritters, squash in spaghetti sauce and tacos and desserts. OMG, is squash Your 21st-century version of manna?

This prayer was originally published on August 22, 2016.

OMG, It’s Monday! Prayer: I’ve Missed You, You Turkey

O Lord, once upon a time, we were Bossy Big Sister and Ornery Baby Brother. You know perfectly well that hasn’t changed completely. But now, reunited after several years, OMG, thank You we can share a big hug.